The Fig of Spain and other possible Shakespearean cocktails

A Joe Peretore creation

Several evenings last summer, while I was on yet another trip to the cocktail capital of the world, my self-styled bartender friend Joe enthusiastically presented me with a series of new spirited concoctions. It's always like an episode of Iron Chef with Joe--just give him a suggestion for an ingredient and he'll go to work, shaking or stirring up a fine potable for your enjoyment. One night, he ran out of raspberry preserves for something resembling a Clover Club, so he used a spoonful of fig preserves instead. He presented it to me with a slightly crestfallen aura; he was a father whose child had no name. So I took a sip and the first thing that tripped off my tongue was "Fig of Spain." It's an gonads-inspired hand gesture/ insult from Pistol in Henry V. I explained to Joe the term's bawdy origin and a new drink was born. 

While riding city busses and trains and planes that summer, I was always browsing through a Kindle book on my iPod called "Shakespeare's Bawdy" by Eric Partridge, which explains where my brain was at the time. I've always loved colorful turns of phrase, especially ones with clever, tasteful innuendo. Shakespeare is a master of the craft of penis and fart jokes. It's something I wish we could teach kids in high school so they wouldn't be so bored or put off by his plays. If they knew how truly foul-mouthed Mercutio was, or how often Romeo and his buddies talked about snatch, teenagers would relate to Shakespeare so much better. Alas, teaching them what Hamlet meant by telling Ophelia it would "cost a groaning" to take off his edge would be frowned upon in our pretends-to-be-Puritan society. But them's the breaks. 

Flipping through Joe's cocktail recipe books and noting the witty and often risqué names most of them were given, I quickly realized that Shakespeare was an endless mine of beverage monikers. Next time I'm in Brooklyn, I'll have to get Joe to make something called a "Carnal Sting" or perhaps a "Bed Presser." I'd love to try whatever might be called "Fortune's Favours," "Country Matters," or even "Beast with Two Backs." I'll be sure to share whenever we figure one out.

So in the tradition of my dear friend Elissa's Game of Thrones craft blog (which is really awesomesauce, so if you're into it check it out), I give you the recipe for one of my most favorite cocktails ever:

The Fig Of Spain (courtesy of Joe Peretore)

2 oz Beefeater Gin

3/4 oz lemon juice

1/2 oz simple syrup

1 egg white

1 teaspoon fig preserves

Shake all ingredients until your arms fall off.

Add ice until shaker is 3/4 full.

Shake until your heart gives out.

Strain into a saucer champagne glass. 

Sip and recite Shakespeare.