Even as one heat another heat expels

The original threesome (well, foursome)  rom-com

Given the absurdly male hormone-induced plot of his play, The Two Gentlemen of Verona is an aptly sarcastic title indeed. It's nought more than a pair of besties who turn into assholes the moment a hot chick arrives on the scene. Valentine is the dude who makes fun of his friend Proteus for falling in love with Julia, and then both of their eyes bug out when Silvia walks by and they proceed to fight for her affections, but that's even putting it too poetically. Proteus would have raped Silvia in the woods if Valentine hadn't been there to intervene.

They're better than Tamora's twins (from Titus Andronicus), I suppose. But not by much. Still, Shakespeare articulates the under-nourished scruples inside a young man's codpiece fairly well, don't you think?


The Two Gentlemen of Verona, Act II, Sc. IV
Proteus: Even as one heat another heat expels,
Or as one nail by strength drives out another,
So the remembrance of my former love
Is by a newer object quite forgotten.
Is it mine, or Valentine's praise,
Her true perfection, or my false transgression,
That makes me reasonless to reason thus?
She is fair; and so is Julia that I love--
That I did love, for now my love is thaw'd;
Which, like a waxen image, 'gainst a fire,
Bears no impression of the thing it was.
Methinks my zeal to Valentine is cold,
And that I love him not as I was wont.
O, but I love his lady too too much,
And that's the reason I love him so little.
How shall I dote on her with more advice,
That thus without advice begin to love her!
'Tis but her picture I have yet beheld,
And that hath dazzled my reason's light;
But when I look on her perfections,
There is no reason but I shall be blind.
If I can cheque my erring love, I will;
If not, to compass her I'll use my skill.